Sometimes you find yourself in an interaction with another individual where you just feel stuck. Your goal is to influence the other person towards solving a problem that you feel you understand and can provide a good solution for. The other individual shows no interest in proceeding. What do you do next?
This scenario plays out perpetually in many facets of our lives. It may be a conversation with a perspective customer. It could be a coaching session with a direct report. It even happens in our personal lives with those we love and care about the most.
One strategy that I have found can be helpful when you find yourself stuck in one these challenging influence conversations is to introduce this power question built on the concept of “ranking 1-10”.
Let’s say you have done your best to create interest and a willingness to pursue a needs analysis conversation with a homeowner concerning an alarm system. You are still on the front porch and they are signaling that they don’t have an interest. You know your alarm system with smart home features would benefit them if they would only give you a little more time to help them understand the benefits and value. “Before I go, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, can I ask you just one more question? On a 1-10 scale, just how important is protecting your family and your home?”
Another example is in a coaching conversation with a direct report. You seek to help them achieve their goal for the week by getting them to discuss their plan which you feel needs improvement. They are doing their best to avoid giving you that opportunity. Here’s how that question might sound. “Sally, let me just ask you one more question about your goal for this week. On a 1-10 scale, just how confident are you that you will achieve it?”
It works in your personal life as well. Your teenager has a big project at school that is due next week and you know they are way behind on what they need to do to successfully complete it on time. They don’t really want to talk to you about it because they are teenagers, and you are the parent. “Johnny, on a 1-10 scale how close to finished are you on that big project for next week?”
Here’s what happens next. You have successfully moved them from their objective (to end the conversation now without further discussion) to a new thought process of answering your question. More importantly, they are now thinking about the goal and no longer coming up with reasons to get rid of you. This is critically important to understand. You have diverted them for their own good.
When they respond with a number it creates a logical and natural follow-up question which is something like this. “What would need to happen for you to move from a 5 to a 7 or 8?” Now you have them considering necessary actions that support their goal.
For the homeowner prospect, if they respond with a 6 you could ask them what it would take for them to be able to say 7 or 8? This naturally creates curiosity about how you can help them. For the direct report, if they respond with a 7, ask what they would need to do to move that rank up to a higher likelihood of success. This may lead them to wanting to have a conversation about their plan and even ask for your help. For the teenager, the same holds true.
One of the most powerful attributes of this strategy is that it is nonjudgmental and minimizes the chance of a defensive response. Nothing good happens when you push them into a defensive posture.
Think about how you can use the “ranking” question as a strategy when you find yourself stuck in an influence conversation. Remember, this is not a manipulation technique. This is a strategy that opens the conversation back up so that you can help and serve the other person. The effectiveness of using this strategy is directly proportional to you having a proper motivation.