My grandson Graham is 3 years old. He is dependent on others. He does most of what he’s told, doesn’t really question authority or decisions made for him, and he leads a pretty good life for the moment. My granddaughter Hadley is 6 years old and she is starting to show signs of independence. She wants to make her own choices, but when the going gets tough, she tiptoes back to the safety and security of dependence. My youngest daughter Lauren is very independent. She left home soon after graduation and has created an independent life that any father would be proud of. She will be getting married next week and will need to embrace interdependence to be successful in marriage.
My wife and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary this year. We are interdependent. Together we make up a sum greater than the parts. We make each other better because of our partnership relationship. We trust that each of us think, act, and do for the greater good of us. We operate out of an acknowledgment that we did not get here by ourselves. We appreciate the diversity that makes us unique yet allows us to be complete when in harmony.
It’s interesting how these various ways of interacting also present themselves in career settings. Most new employees start out dependent. They have to trust that their supervisor and other experienced coworkers have their best interest in mind and heart. So they follow directions and learn the lessons.
Next comes independence. That employee is no longer new and they want to spread their wings and begin to fly. They want to be able to show that they can do it on their own and even do it better. It’s a proud moment for those who have poured time, knowledge, and wisdom into them.
The goal is to be proficient enough to be able to consider not only personal accomplishment but contributing to the greater good. When that level of interdependence is accomplished, there is true partnership.
It’s unfortunate when a child spends too long being dependent. It’s annoying when a young adult is so independent that they forget to be grateful and appreciative of those who helped them get there. If they don’t move to interdependence soon, they will be labeled as someone who “it’s all about them.”
It’s the same with employees. Spend too much time being dependent and you will be relegated to “average worker status.” Spend too much time being independent and you might be labeled a “prima donna.” Focus on being interdependent and you will go far.
Every so often it’s a good idea to consider who your partners are and if you are a good partner to them.
Share your thoughts on this with us. I help growth-seeking individuals and organizations reach their full potential. Contact me at jkenney@safestreets.com.
You capture some really important ideas for us all to remember. Well done Joe!
Thanks Brian. I consider you a partner.