In his book The 10 X Rule, Grant Cardone presents a list of 32 qualities, personality traits, and habits that make successful people the way they are, and differentiate them from other less successful people. Included in that list is the idea that they “Reach Up” in Relationships. By contrast, those who fail to achieve all that they are capable of have the habit of hanging around with people who are at their own level or even below. It is naturally easier and more comfortable to do the latter. The question one must ask, however, is whether the goal is comfort or success?
I’m going to assume your answer is that the goal for you is success. Let’s unpack this idea of “Reaching Up” in relationships and discuss both why it works and how you might go about implementing it as a life strategy.
The book of Proverbs has a truth that “As a person thinks in their heart, so are they.” As we think, we will go. Thinking controls action and action produces results. The question becomes how do we improve our thinking so that we improve our action? Start by understanding how we come to think the way that we do. It’s through the repetition of ideas that we have been exposed to most often. Advertising and marketing experts understand this principle and implement it to influence decisions and actions. It’s a powerful force that we too can harness.
Where do we get exposed to these ideas that become our thoughts? One source is the people in our lives that we listen to and interact with. Think about all the people who have influenced your thinking in the past. We can’t change that, but we can change the people who are currently influencing you. Are they the people that can provide you with ideas that will help you grow and prosper? Are they the people who will challenge you to become the best version of yourself? Are they the people that are living the life and having the success that you want?
Let’s talk about some practical ideas for intentionally implementing a strategy to “Reach Up” in Relationships. First, identify some people who are getting better results than you. Ideally these are people you have access to. Make a list of specific things they are doing or accomplishing that you also desire to do or accomplish. This becomes your “target list”.
Next, make the decision to reach out to them and let them know that you have observed their success, that you are working on growing to a similar level, and ask them if you could meet with them to ask them for some advice. You will be amazed at how people, when approached in this manner, will be excited to help you.
When people on your target list share their knowledge and experience with you, make sure to take notes and turn these ideas into a list of actions that you will take. Ask them if they would be willing to meet with you again after you have worked on these ideas and assure them you will report back with how you are doing with the ideas they have given you. When people see that you are willing to take their ideas and put them into action, they will gladly continue to help you.
Cardone suggests that you make a habit of “reaching up” in all your relationships. Think about it this way, if you were a company who would you want on your Board of Directors advising you? Would you want people who are easy to get or the ones will who are highly successful and likely more difficult to connect with?
Don’t forget to thank them for their time. Send a thank you note or a small token of your gratitude. You will be surprised at how many people ask for help and never show appreciation. You can differentiate yourself and gain ongoing access by doing so.